When we are between the ages of seven to thirteen we leave the family environment for school to study Concern for Others. If we have a significant experience in this stage of childhood development if effects our adult behavior both positively and negatively. Obviously, Trump’s punching his music teacher at the age of eight was his personal main event – enough so that he bragged about it in his book.
The two variations to wounding in the Concern for Others phase are the CARETAKER or the LONER. The CARETAKER’S core belief is “others need me.” The LONER’S core belief is, “I’m not lovable.” This less than positive self-image plays out as the narcissistic and insecure actions of Trump.
At the end of the 2nd debate what Hillary said she liked about Trump, “Look, I respect his children. His children are incredibly able and devoted, and I think that says a lot about Donald.”
The LONER tries to cover their insecurities by demeaning and degrading others. Trump treats his children well because he knows that they need him – he’s not vulnerable. When his wives lose their luster or a more attractive trophy appears, he’s off on another conquest to prove that he is lovable. The Trump signage on every hotel, plane and T-bone steak feeds his starving ego. Lesser-thans, children, pets, ugly women, people of color are not perceived as a threat and until the 2016 Election they weren’t.
The LONER’S Basic Fear (Wound) and Trump is Ostracism by peers. That’s why he always claims ten billion instead of the real number around three. Carl Icahn, a real billionaire, humbly bails Trump out on his failed ventures.
The good news for Trump and possibly the country is his potential to actualize the LONER’s Growth Challenge: share feelings and thoughts with partner (the electorate); become inclusive. Trump up-to the first debate has refused to expose his vulnerability, but now that the media-machine has him trapped in the corner of public opinion – he has to share some substantive thoughts on getting out of the mess we’re all in.