WHY MEN WANT THEIR MOMMY

Montserrat May 1973

When I complained to first wife, that half of my AA meetings were filled with sharing of relationship troubles, she replied, “that’s because you don’t know what a relationship is.” I asked second wife do you think I know anything about relationships? Her response, “yes, you taught me about relationships.” Confidently, I told prospective third wife that I was 90% well-adjusted when it comes to this relationship stuff. After a year of tearful daily emotional evisceration, I was only confident about one thing, Eckhart Tolle was right. “Relationships aren’t meant to make you happy, they’re to help you grow up.”

Longing for the nurturing wing of second wife, the encouraging visits with the psycho-therapist, the first time experience of wearing one pant leg in the family business and most importantly the money, put a gigantic rock in my path of least resistance. Forget growing up in a relationship raz-ma-taz. Forget psycho-therapy I couldn’t even come up with a buck for an AA meeting. The last time I was in a fix this bad was between first and second wives’ relationships but then a $5/hr. job as a beverage counselor – “you look like a Miller Lite kinda-guy” – at a Shell service station sustained me. Then 48 now, 63 the old geezer minimum wage jobs were impossible to find. Worser still I was once again at the bottom #22 on Esther and Jerry Hick’s Emotional Guidance System:

Physically diminished from 235 to 165 lbs, Emotionally eviscerated to #22. Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness

22. Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness.

I got down on my knees and prayed. I meditated by walking 3 hours a day– old geezers walk, not jog – but my two home brewed affirmations did the trick. I’m not sure which one was most effective a) “If money were no object, I’d be on a jet plane to Kathmandu,” or b) “All the vaginas in China aren’t worth this shit.” Maybe they overlapped, anyway, a month later I was on a jet plane to China, not Kathmandu.

‘Shark Oil’ salesman Mainland China 2008-2014

China is not a country for old men, you are too old for the women you want to marry and the ones that do want to marry you don’t speak English. I spent five years wishing it weren’t so but only proved to myself that, “not being in a relationship makes you unhappy and only helps you grow older.”

I tried bridging the cross-cultural divide by reading John Gray’s manual: Mars and Venus in Touch. But the most sage advice came

Women Need to Receive

Men Need to Receive

Caring

Trust

Understanding

Acceptance

Respect

Appreciation

Devotion

Admiration

Validation

Approval

Reassurance

Encouragement

from a New Yorker at an AA meeting in Hong Kong. After listening to my woe-is-me dissertation on relationships he gave me the straight scoop. “men want a mommy with sex privileges.” This explained everything, maybe my first wife didn’t want to be my mommy and the China oldies that offered to be my mommy, I rejected linguistically speaking.

My best bachelor bud in China

My best ESL teacher ‘bud’ had one of those Chinese mommy arrangements and even though she could speak good English, he complained about the lack of in depth conversation, her single parent status and the extended family to infinity and beyond.

I contemplated for awhile on this mommy with sex privileges idea, but each month looking for the privilege without the tangling alliances became more challenging. Prostitution, cheap and readily available in China was tempting but that left out the mommy part. I got down on my knees again, horizontal meditation this time around, walking in China requires constant vigilance, to watch your step and the state of mindfulness  is continuously disrupted by “Hello’s.” In desperation I began revising my affirmations weekly.

Rodos Ferry Boat Kiss Oct 2015

My final revision in February 2011 “I want a XXX and XXXX XXXX,” quickly led to a putative marriage with my third wife. She didn’t want to be my mommy, said I needed a daddy, to ’spine-me-up’ from this “I want my mommy” crap and get a life. She’d cook, I’d wash the dishes and together we could have a privileged relationship. Well, I’m here to tell you in 2018 that I’m still at #1 on Esther Hicks’s Emotional Guidance System:

Joy/Knowledge/Empowerment/Freedom/Love/Appreciation

43 The Way to RESOLVE GENERATION

STRENGTH: The life purpose of the individuals on the Way of Resolve is to learn how to face any challenge or problem without backing down. To accomplish this task, those on this karmic path must develop the ability to set their resolve and make a commitment. These individuals are often multifaceted, and on the surface life seems to come easily to them. However, they tend to lack resolve and prefer to take the path of least resistance. Thus, they are known to leave their associates and intimates in the lurch, when push comes to shove. Moreover, as they often do not have the determination to see the job through to the end, the quality of their work may suffer, making it difficult for them to advance in their chosen career or profession. Those on this path often pay too much attention to what others think, preventing them from cultivating their own beliefs. Without a more fully developed value system, they may lack a sense of self. As those on this path learn to face challenges, they will come to understand what it is they themselves stand for.

BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID, Robert Redford, Paul Newman, 1969, in shootout. TM and Copyright (c) 20th Century Fox Film Corp. All rights reserved.
BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID, Robert Redford, Paul Newman, 1969, in shootout. TM and Copyright (c) 20th Century Fox Film Corp. All rights reserved.

CORE LESSON: Standing up for what they believe in or for those they love;

GOAL: To take up any challenge and not back down;

GIFTS: Tough, Action-Oriented, Accomplished;

PITFALLS: Morally Weak, Self-Absorbed, Immature;

RELEASE: Caring about what others think;

REWARD: The joy of a strong sense of self;

SUGGESTION: Try to discern the underlying pattern in the challenges that confront you. Reflect on what matters most to you. What do you respect? Seek to develop maturity;

jane austinBALANCE POINT Giving Up and Standing Firm;

NOTABLES: Rosie O’Donnell, Paul Newman, Georgia O’Keeffe, Le Corbusier, Billy Wilder, Mick Jagger, Leo Durocher, Robert De Niro, Mama Cass, Catherine Deneuve, Robert Altman, Jon Bon Jovi, Philip Johnson, Jane Austen.

Source: The Secret Language of Destiny, Gary Goldschneider & Joost Elffers.

44 The Way of CONFIDENCE March 21 – June 10, 1943

44 The Way of CONFIDENCE – Acceptance to Leadership: The Way of Confidence calls those born to it, to develop the self-acceptance and self-assurance needed to step into the public spotlight and become leaders. Individuals on this karmic often feel set apart from others in some way. Sensing that they are different they surround themselves with friends for validation. Little can assuage their insecurity, until they believe in themselves and feel confident in their messages or missions. Only then can those on this path fulfill their destiny. Whether they become political leaders, the heads of business organizations, or simply the charismatic centers of groups of friends, those on this path are called to lead. However, they must base their desire to become leaders, not in a need for approval, but in the purest intention: the desire to further the highest good of their groups and society.

Gifts: Inventive – Lively – Commanding;

Pitfalls: Insecure – Approval-Seeking – Cold;

Release the attachment to low self-worth;

Reward: The joy of acting for the greater good;

Balance Point: Altruism and Egotism;

SUGGESTION: Realize that being different doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. Own and embrace your individuality. Share your gifts with generosity. Risk being an example. 

NOTABLES ON THIS KARMIC PATH: Queen Elizabeth I, David Geffen, Billy Kidd, Cornelius Vanderbilt, James Clavell, Leon Uris, Bob Woodward, Ozzie Nelson, Joe Namath, Marc Chagall, Lee Iacocca, Truman Capote, Bobby Fischer, Scott Joplin, Wynton Marsallis, Jimmy Carter, Harry F. Byrd, Charles Saatchi, Meg Ryan, Charlton Heston, Venus Williams, Jim Carrey, Aristotle Onassis, Tom Landry, Henry Cabot Lodge. Madame Helena Blavatsky.

Source: The Secret Language of Destiny, Gary Goldschneider & Joost Elffers.

21 The Way of REVELATION – EXPOSURE to SENSITIVITY:

 heyerdahlThor Heyerdahl was a Norwegian adventurer and ethnographer with a background in zoology, botany, and geography. October 6, 1914, Larvik, Norway.

21 The Way of REVELATION – EXPOSURE to SENSITIVITY: Sensitive, though often closed and secretive, the individuals on the Way of Revelation are here to break down the emotional barriers that keep them from sharing their feelings, ideas, or concerns with others. Coming into this lifetime with a talent for shrouding themselves in mystery, those born to the Way of Revelation can be so adept at hiding their true natures that they may not be sure of who they really are or what they really feel. Thus, the process of revelation necessitates that the men and women born to this karmic path go within and become reacquainted with themselves.

Often those on the Way of Revelation nurse pain and resentment over wounds inflicted in the past and possess elaborate defense mechanisms that are carefully crafted to protect themselves from pain. Developing a sense of hope and trust will allow these souls to heal their scars and, ultimately, to reveal themselves openly to others. It is essential for those on the Way of Revelation to cultivate their social skills and practice interpersonal interaction. However, this cannot be attempted until they begin to strip away the armor that holds them back from meaningful contact with their fellow human beings.

CORE LESSON: Learning to trust;

GOAL::To strip away the defenses built up to protect their sensitive natures and reveal who they are to both themselves and the world;

Gifts: OBSERVANT – SENSITIVE – DILIGENT

Pitfalls: PRICKLY – SECRETIVE – NON SHARING

RELEASE: The need to feel superior

REWARD: The joy of being oneself

SUGGESTION: Observe yourself more closely and notice the reasons behind your superior attitudes and judgments of others. Develop a relationship with trust in spirit;

BALANCE POINT: Safety and Risk

impression-sunriseOscar-Claude Monet was a founder of French Impressionist painting, and the most consistent and prolific practitioner of the movement’s philosophy of expressing one’s perceptions before nature, especially as applied to plein-air landscape painting.

Way of REVELATION NOTABLES: Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky, Dylan Thomas, Wallis Warfield Simpson, Thor Heyerdahl, Eli Whitney, Joan Collins, Ralph Waldo Emerson, F. Lee Bailey, Jerry Falwell, Roman Polanski, River Phoenix, Conway Twitty, Matt Damon, Jackie Cougan, Jonas Salk, Lorne Green, Claude Monet, Giacomo Puccini, Thomas Hardy.

Source: The Secret Language of Destiny, Gary Goldschneider & Joost Elffers.

43 The Way of RESOLVE – YOUTH and EASE to BALANCED STRENGTH

American artist Georgia O'Keeffe (1887 - 1986) stands at an easel outdoors, adjusting a canvas from her 'Pelvis Series- Red With Yellow,' Albuquerque, New Mexico, 1960. (Photo by Tony Vaccaro/Getty Images)American artist Georgia O’Keeffe (1887 – 1986) stands at an easel outdoors, adjusting a canvas from her ‘Pelvis Series- Red With Yellow,’ Albuquerque, New Mexico, 1960. (Photo by Tony Vaccaro/Getty Images)

43 The Way of RESOLVE – YOUTH and EASE to BALANCED STRENGTH: The life purpose of the individuals on the Way of Resolve is to learn how to face any challenge or problem without backing down. To accomplish this task, those on this karmic path must develop the ability to set their resolve and make a commitment. These individuals are often multifaceted, and on the surface life seems to come easily to them. However, they tend to lack resolve and prefer to take the path of least resistance. Thus, they are known to leave their associates and intimates in the lurch, when push comes to shove. Moreover, as they often do not have the determination to see the job through to the end, the quality of their work may suffer, making it difficult for them to advance in their chosen career or profession. Those on this path often pay too much attention to what others think, preventing them from cultivating their own beliefs. Without a more fully developed value system, they may lack a sense of self. As those on this path learn to face challenges, they will come to understand what it is they themselves stand for.

CORE LESSON: Standing up for what they believe in or for those they love;

GOAL: To take up any challenge and not back down;

GIFTS: Tough, Action-Oriented, Accomplished;

PITFALLS: Morally Weak, Self-Absorbed, Immature;

RELEASE: Caring about what others think;

REWARD: The joy of a strong sense of self;

SUGGESTION: Try to discern the underlying pattern in the challenges that confront you. Reflect on what matters most to you. What do you respect? Seek to develop maturity;

BALANCE POINT Giving Up and Standing Firm;

art-camp-week-1-day-1-okeefeGeorgia Totto O’Keeffe was an American artist. She is best known for her paintings of enlarged flowers, New York skyscrapers, and New Mexico landscapes. O’Keeffe has been recognized as the “Mother of American modernism”. November 15, 1887, Sun Prairie, Wisconsin.

NOTABLES: Rosie O’Donnell, Paul Newman, Georgia O’Keeffe, LeCorbusier, Billy Wilder, Mick Jagger, Leo Durocher, Robert DeNiro, Mama Cass, Catherine Deneuve, Robert Altman, Jon Bon Jovi, Philip Johnson, Jane Austen.

Source: The Secret Language of Destiny,  Gary Goldschneider & Joost Elffers.

23 The Way of DEVOTION – ENIGMA to LONER

10grossRichard Buckminster “Bucky” Fuller was an American architect, systems theorist, author, designer and inventor. Fuller published more than 30 books, coining or popularizing terms such as “Spaceship Earth”, ephemeralization, and synergetic. July 12, 1895, Milton, Massachusetts.

23 The Way of DEVOTION – ENIGMA to LONER: In some ways, the Way of Devotion is more of a calling than a karmic path. Those born to it must find someone or something to which they can devote their lives. Sacrifice is no stranger to those on this path, since the devotion required of the individuals on it is uncompromising. The men and women born to the Way of Devotion tend to be somewhat enigmatic and solitary. Loners they are fond of puzzling over conundrums or philosophies at length. Sometimes this is merely their sorting through what matters to them. Soulful and sensitive, the men and women on this karmic path may have to search far and wide for the object of their devotion before they find it. Once they do, they will spend the rest of their lives giving themselves unselfishly to their personal divinity. Core Lesson: Being able to hear what their hearts are telling them.

Goal: To find a person, cause, principle, or deity to which they can unreservedly devote themselves.

Gifts: Discriminating – Sensitive – Humorous;

Pitfalls: Suffering – Over exacting – Fantasy-prone;

Release: The tendency to self-pity,

Reward: The joy of following your heartcohenandgreenfieldBen Cohen and Jerry Greenfield were childhood friends from New York. While Greenfield finished college, he found himself unable to make his way into medical school. Cohen dropped out of school.[2] In 1977, Cohen and Greenfield completed a course on ice cream making from Pennsylvania State University‘s Creamery. Cohen has severe anosmia, a lack of a sense of smell or taste, and so relied on “mouth feel” and texture to provide variety in his diet. This led to the company’s trademark chunks being mixed in with their ice cream.[3] On May 5, 1978, with a $12,000[4] investment, the two business partners opened an ice cream parlor in a renovated gas station in downtown Burlington, Vermont. In 1979, they marked their anniversary by holding the first-ever free cone day, now an international annual celebration.[3]

NOTABLES: Sally Ride (first American woman in space), Ben Cohen & Jerry Greenfield (Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream), Stevie Wonder, Alec Guinness, Tyrone Power, Anatoli Karpov, Buckminster Fuller, Alexander Dumas, Peter O’Toole, Patsy Cline, Friedrich Engels, Don King, Pablo Casals, Gypsy Rose Lee, John Ford, Willy Brandt, Richard Burton, Willa Cather;

Source: The Secret Language of Destiny, Gary Goldschneider & Joost Elffers.

Don’t Sell a Gun to People Born on November 16th

Nature rather than nurture is responsible for creating your personality, according to a study of twins which found that character is something you are born with. Researchers from King’s College London studied 45 childhood characteristics in 6,759 pairs of identical and non-identical twins across the UK, to determine whether their genes or their environment was more important.

Across most of the country 60 per cent of the variation in children’s behavior at school – whether they were unruly or not – was down to their genes.  Every year in the USA there are approximately 20, 000 babies born on November 16th – don’t give or sell them a gun – here’s why.

Omar Mateen: 11/16/1986 

November 16th the Day of the INDIVIDUALIZED BOSS

Both men and women born on November 16 have a natural feeling for authority and how to wield it. Many have a good reputation for being good directors or managers, whether in their family or at work. They also function well in an advisory or coaching capacity in social groups and teams to which they belong. Their command is rarely questioned, since they are wise enough to avoid arousing animosity or rebellion,

Omar Mateen

Yet, as children or adolescents, those born on this day are often rebellious or even destructive, and may not emerge into a more mature stage until their early thirties. Fortunately, most November 16 people, by examining their own behavior, can gain insight not only into themselves but also into the motivations, needs and concerns of others.

Tiberius was born on November 16, 42 B.C.E., in Rome and became the adopted son of future emperor Augustus. After Tiberius became emperor himself, he established the concept of ruler as god and improved the Roman economy, though his erratic behavior made him unpopular with citizenry and the senate. Involved in murderous conspiracies related to the throne, Tiberius retired to Capri in his later years.

FOUR  of Clubs: The Card of MENTAL SATISFACTION:

Though this is a card of stability, their Five of Clubs Karma Card also indicates a hidden restlessness that can manifest in several ways. These people are progressive and can utilize this to create new ideas in their chosen line of work, rather than let the restlessness keep them from achieving any success. These people know what they know and are not likely to change their minds on your behalf unless they see the value of change for themselves. “Stubborn” may describe it better in many cases. They are fond of argument, since they usually win, and usually do well in legal matters. They have a good constitution and are not afraid of hard work. This is a successful card. They are good at sales work and enjoy talking about what they believe in. They are popular and do well in groups. As long as they don’t let their love of debate get out of hand, they will keep a fine reputation in their work. They also want a successful love life and this is their major life challenge.

November 16 people are very concerned with finding the right match for themselves, as well. Choosing a life partner, both in love and business, is of the utmost importance to them. Quite often they are unable to further their career until the right person has come into their lives. Unfortunately, where love is concerned, a lot of water may have gone under the bridge before this happens, and November 16 people may struggle emotionally for some years. Indeed, unhappy love affairs, broken marriages and sexual frustrations can dot the landscape of their lives. Those November 16 people who never find that right person after all can lead a rather solitary existence

Born in Relationship A mother accused of domestic abuse and described as “paranoid.” A father became a supporter of the Taliban. Parents who spent years in and out of courtrooms. That’s the family that gave rise to mass-murderer Omar Mateen, who killed 49 people in the Pulse gay nightclub in Orlando last Sunday.

Omar Mateen grew up in a house of four children, where he was the only boy. School records obtained by The Daily Beast show that the New York-born Mateen struggled in school and stayed in English for Speakers of Other Languages classes through middle school. As he grew older, the bad grades became supplemented with violent outbursts, including at least two instances in which Mateen hit another child. One teacher noted that Mateen “lacks remorse.”

When the family moved school districts in the eighth grade, he was suspended for 25 days from his new school. In his freshman year of high school, he was even sent to another school after fighting a student. Between eighth and 10th grade, Mateen was suspended for 48 days for fighting and other behavioral issues. The final suspension recorded for Mateen came in the new school year, two days after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001. Mateen, whose parents were born in Afghanistan, was given a five-day in-school suspension at the alternative school for an “other disciplinary violation” on Sept. 13.

In school records, Mateen’s mother, Shahla, seemed largely absent from the discussion. Official records suggest the couple had a history of marital problems. In 2002, when Mateen was 16, police went to the family house on Waterlily Place, in Martin County, Florida, and arrested Shahla on charges of beating her husband.

According to a police report, the couple, then married for 20 years, had been arguing while their children slept. Seddique (Mateen’s father) went to brush his teeth, and Shahla began cursing at him, and then pulled his hair and pinched him on the bicep hard enough to leave a red mark visible to police officers.

Shahla Mateen

Shahla was carted off to the police station, where officers took her mug shot. Seddique asserted that his wife had threatened to hurt him in the future. “She said she knows what to do with him,” an officer reported. To the question, “Has the defendant previously assaulted or battered you,” Mateen answered, “Yes.”

Sitora Yusufiy

Seddique didn’t press charges, and even posted his wife’s bail. There are no records of further domestic disturbances. But the incident would find disturbing echoes years later when Omar Mateen’s ex-wife, Sitora Yusufiy,  accused him of beating her while they were married. (The allegations came to light after the shooting.)

Blame It On the Parents

Who knows why we get the parents that we get? The karma/dharma crowd thinks we choose the time, date and family situation that we are born into.

Childhood Wound the Other 40%

Astrologically speaking you are born with a pre-determined personality, a life purpose and a day-by-day charted future. My father and I were born on the same day, September 13th, but thirty years apart. The generational difference meant that Marion 9/13/1913 was on the Way of Transformation, while I 9/13/1943 got the Way of Resolve. The King’s College London pairs b/c of their identical mm/dd/yyyy each shared one of 48 karmic paths which hold one of the most important keys to Finding Dharma.

Harville Hendrix was featured 17 times on the Oprah Winfrey show, winning Oprah an Emmy for the most socially redemptive daytime talk show.

What Dr. Harville Hendrix refers to in his book, Keeping the Love You Find  are our childhood characteristics that are determined by the wounding we receive in one of six stages of childhood development. As we progress along the timeline from in-the-womb to age 19, the environment created by our care-givers, relationships with them and others and meaningful events ensures we get wounded – no one gets off scot-free.

The three biggies are ATTACHMENT (in-the-womb to 18 months), CONCERN FOR OTHERS (6 to 13) and INTIMACY (14 to 19). Don’t feel left out, everybody gets zapped, even Leave It to Beaver.

Omar Mateen’s Karmic Path the Way of Individuation

Omar Mateen and Norman Rockwell Travelers on

                                       The Way of INDIVIDUATION

Those born during the Way of Individuation must shed their social orientation and cause the radiant light of their unique individuality to shine forth. Individuation is their goal, as they need to strengthen their sense of self and identify and pursue their own unique form of fulfillment.

These people need to find their personal lodestar and create life goals, possibly involving career or other worldly ambitions. Often they spend their early years without a sense of self or any personal ambition, perhaps even mired in complacency. Not knowing what they want, they may be swept along on others’ coattails—for example, fulfilling their parents’ expectations.

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT

Psychologist Carol Dweck has spent her entire career studying attitude and performance, and her latest study shows that your attitude is a better predictor of your success than your IQ. Leave it to Harvard for the definitive answer for success. In 1970, sociologist Dr. Edward Banfield of Harvard University described one of the most profound studies on success and priority setting ever conducted.

Banfield’s goal was to find out how and why some people became financially independent during the course of their working lifetimes. He started off convinced that the answer to this question would be found in factors such as family background, education, intelligence, influential contacts, or some other concrete factor. What he finally discovered was that the major reason for success in life was a particular attitude of mind.

All children are born with a positive attitude; they feel no fear but by the time they reach adulthood they possess a core fear that they picked up along the nurturing way. No child is left behind. Everybody gets zapped, wounded between 0 and 19. The trick remains for psychologists, how do they discover the negative attitudes.

The global security firm, G4S, a security firm that was known as Wackenhut at the timehat employed Orlando shooter Omar Mateen is facing additional scrutiny over whether it adequately screened his fitness to be a gun-carrying licensed security guard, Psychologist, Dr Carol Nudelman, who now lives in Colorado, said in a statement released through her attorneys to the Miami Herald that she never evaluated Omar Mateen nine years ago for . However, Nudelman’s name appears on the document in Florida’s state records, which cleared Mateen to carry a firearm as a private security guard.

At Mel Kleiman’s Humetrics Inc. I learned all, almost all, I ever needed to know about psycho-metrics or psychological testing for use in hiring hourly employees, especially security guards like Wackenhut hires. Mel befriended a genuine ‘shrink’ two floors up from our office, whose claim to fame was rehabbing 13 walking dead zombies from the Evansville, Indiana insane asylum by asking them questions. Mel took those questions, put them on a floppy disc and sold them for five bucks apiece to armored car companies to test their applicants Attitude, their mental health. Not so much were they worried about new hires stealing money but were they stable enough to carry a gun.

Wounded in Relationship.

Where nature comes in, is in our childhood development as described by Harville Hendrix’s second law of relationship; Wounded in Relationship. Our attitude towards work, play and love dates back to which of six stages of childhood was the most traumatic, ATTACHMENT – EXPLORATION – IDENTITY – COMPETENCY – CONCERN FOR OTHERS -, OR INTIMACY?

CONCERN for OTHERS STAGE (6-13)

We enter the Concern for Others stage when we go off to school to mingle with our peers. Omar Mateen clearly didn’t do well in the getting along with others phase of childhood development. Aggressive behavioral problems dogged him from beginning to end in his academic sojourn to the 10th grade. Omar’s bio suggests that he adopted the attitudes of the LONER.

The LONER:  Minimizer, Rigid Boundaries
Basic Fear (Wound): Ostracism by peers; parental (partner) rejection
Internal Message  Don’t be close
Core Belief:  I am not lovable
Relationship Belief:  I’ll be hurt if I try to be close
Image of Partner:   Gregarious and intrusive
Relationship to Partner:  Exclude partner from inner world; make unilateral plans; counter-dependent
Core Issue: Partner intrusiveness
Typical Frustration:  You don’t like me; you won’t leave me alone
Recurrent Feeling:  Resentment and depression
Conflict Management:  Avoids conflict; sulks
Growth Challenge:  Develop same-sex friends; join partner in socializing; share feelings and thoughts with partner; become inclusive

Mateen’s MMPI was scored by HQPE (Headquarters for Psychological Evaluation). The MMPI is a psychological evaluation that is commonly used to evaluate police officers and is the benchmark for psychological assessments. The G4S spokesman described it as a written test that is a scored by a psychologist, but that does not include an in-person interview.

The form, which certifies that “the employee is mentally and emotionally stable” is required under state law, and cleared the way for Mateen to obtain a Class G permit and carry a firearm as part of his duties as a private security guard.

Married twice, neither relationship lasted long enough for healing to take hold. Mental illness requires treatment. Going untreated makes bad things happen in work, play and love. When the FBI investigated Mateen twice they were looking for the ISIS connection. Society would have been better served with a Silence of the Lambs ‘profiler’ interview. However, even one of Mel’s five dollar psyche tests taken at the gun store could have done better. Attitude assessment tests can be given online at the Wal-Mart gun counter

 

OBAMA HEALED IN RELATIONSHIP?

michelle-n-obama-main-19114

Obama, like Bill Clinton and Steve Jobs, was Born In Relationship without a daddy. The trio of famous ATTACHMENT  babies each chose the AVOIDER option to guide them in life.

ATTACHMENT STAGE (0-18 months)

The AVOIDER:  Minimizer, Rigid Boundaries
Basic Fear (Wound):  Contact may lead to emotional and physical rejection, loss of self through contact with parent (partner).
Internal Message:  Don’t be
Core Belief:  I have no right to exist
Relationship Belief:  I will be hurt if I initiate contact with you
Image of Partner:  Demanding, all consuming
Relationship to Partner:  Detached; avoidant
Core Issue:  Too much togetherness;  too many feelings;  too much chaos
Typical Frustration:  You hate me;  you feel too much
Recurrent Feeling:  Terror and rage
Conflict Management:  Hyper-rational;  avoidant; passive/aggressive withdrawal and coldness
Growth Challenge:  Claim right to be;  initiate emotional and physical contact;  express feelings;  increase body awareness and sensory contact with environment 

marriage

Along came Michelle10ofdiamond, in 1989, to help Obama10609665_10206950429823420_2254449442408288387_n complete his childhood and together they could be Healed In Relationship. The relationship progressed to marriage in 1992 and two daughters: Malia Annjackofdiamond, born on July 4, 1998, and Natasha (known as Sasha, 7dsborn on June 10, 2001.

However, Relationships don’t heat up or become more effective until we reach Mid-Life transition between the ages of 45 to 55. Obama born on August FOURTH, 1961 the Day of the GUIDING LIGHT. was sworn in as the U.S. Senator from Illinois  on January 3, 2005 at 43 followed by his election as the 44th President of the US at 47.

220px-US_President_Barack_Obama_taking_his_Oath_of_Office_-_2009Jan20Michelle, born on January SEVENTEENTH, 1964: The Day of the HEAVYWEIGHT, joined her mate in the twilight zone of Mid-life transition three days before Obama’s inauguration on January 20, 2009.

Obama turns 55 this August 4th, his senior year in transition and his last in the White House. His Guiding Light presidency has had an equal number of Pro’s and Con’s but his public Healing in Relationship has been a rip-roaring success.
 

BERNIE WON THE BATTLE TRUMP TO WIN THE WAR

We are truly grateful Bernie for your Political Revolution. You have brought us to the gates of the establishment. You are the Martin Luther King of 2016. You have educated, inspired and led the people with honesty, dignity and humility. You have won the battle for the hearts and minds of the electorate. You have said yourself that this Revolution is not about Bernie it’s about us.

The us in us knows that Trump is an asshole but he is our only option, if us wants to win the war. Hillary wouldn’t honor the Pledge of Allegiance let alone the Democratic Party Platform. Don’t waste your life energy attacking Trump. Don’t waste your life energy trying to negotiate with the Democratic Elite. Vet the Senate and House candidate list, regardless of party affiliation, then tell us for whom to vote.

Become the LBJ of future American political accomplishment. Lyndon Baines Johnson single-handily ran the Senate and with his buddy Sam Rayburn controlled the House. No one, whether they are Bourgeoisie or Proletarian, doubts your word – you remain the last honest politico in power – for example, when you announce legislation to pass Super Glass-Steagall the public and Congressmen who want to keep their job will say Amen.

Let Brexit be our guide, “Those with money are in, those without money are out.” 95 million Americans do not have a job and no hope of having a job. At least, 300 million Americans have no money and only a tiny hope of getting any money. LBJ was a lousy president because he used the Congress to enact his good, bad and ugly policy decisions, Civil Rights/Vietnam/Great Society. since 1964, the “do nothing Congress” has done nothing but make bad, very bad, policy decisions.

LBJ, to pay for his “Guns and Butter” folly was forced to break the chains of gold that kept the Federal Reserve, the Banks and most importantly, the US

We have paid dearly for Nixon’s colossal error. But this abhorrent deviation from a sound dollar can be corrected. The country — and the world — awaits the political leader who truly understands making the dollar as good as gold is vital to the prosperity, security and liberty of the American people, and who can therefore lead the country and the world forward to a 21st century gold standard.

HIPPIES, YIPPIES, YUPPIES & BUPPIES

According to Ed Sanders, the change in the public label from “beatnik” to “hippie” occurred after the 1967 Human Be-In in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park, where Ginsberg,Gary Snyder, and Michael McClure led the crowd in chanting “Om”. Ginsberg was also at the infamous 1968 Democratic National Convention, and was friends with Abbie Hoffman and other members of the Chicago Seven. Stylistic differences between beatniks, marked by somber colors, dark shades and goatees, gave way to colorful psychedelic clothing and long hair worn by hippies. While the beats were known for “playing it cool” and keeping a low profile, hippies became known for displaying their individuality.

One early book hailed as evidencing the transition from “beatnik” to “hippie” culture, was Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up to Me by Richard Fariña, brother-in-law of Joan Baez. Written in 1963, it was published April 28, 1966—two days before its author was killed in a motorcycle crash.

The Yippies had no formal membership or hierarchy. Abbie Hoffman, Anita Hoffman, Jerry Rubin, Nancy Kurshan, and Paul Krassner founded the Yippies (according to his own account, Krassner coined the name) at a meeting in Abbie and Anita’s New York flat on December 31, 1967.[7] “If the press had created ‘hippie,’ could not we five hatch the ‘yippie’?” Abbie Hoffman wrote.

Anita Hoffman liked the word, but felt that the New York Times and other “strait-laced types” needed a more formal name to take the movement seriously. That same night she came up with Youth International Party, because it symbolized the movement and made for a good play on words. The Yippies held their first press conference in New York at the Americana Hotel March 17, 1968, five months before the August 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago. 

‘Get Clean for Gene”

Sister Sue, upper left, Walnut Hills High School ’64, dropped out of Miami of Ohio to run away to Haight Ashbury, San Francisco to be a Hippie. She shared her life with a Buppie but ventured to DC where she met her future husband John, front with baby. John was a Yippie at heart campaigning for Eugene McCarthy in he 1968 election. John retired from Yuppie-hood in 2012 as president of St. Charles Community College.

Jerry Rubin, the Yippie, Walnut Hills High School ’56 dropped out of UC Berkeley to be a full time socio-political activist.

Kenneth Elton “Ken” Kesey (/ˈkz/; September 17, 1935 – November 10, 2001) was an American novelist, essayist, and countercultural figure. He considered himself a link between the Beat Generation of the 1950s and the hippies of the 1960s.

Kesey was born in La Junta, Colorado and grew up in Springfield, Oregon, graduating from the University of Oregon in 1957. He began writing One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest in 1960 following the completion of a graduate fellowship in creative writing at Stanford University; the novel was an immediate commercial and critical success when published two years later.

Healing from the Ground Up